Monday, August 4, 2014

Music Video Monday: Summertime Girls

Okay, since last week's Music Video Monday sort of got us on the subject of dudes suffering the consequences of their own ill-advised romantic behavior, we need to talk about this video:

In this video, hair metal band Y&T take on the role of a gang of nerdy guys at the beach. I believe we're supposed to feel sorry for them because they can't get any action from the ladies, and I do feel sorry for them for the duration of the first scene. Not only do the ladies ignore them, they actively shove the poor guys out of their way:

That shit's just rude. So I was firmly on Team Y&T until the video played a little longer and we got a better idea of what a day at the beach with our Our Heroes actually looks like.

For one thing, they seem to enjoy bursting out of unexpected places to scare the crap out of bottle-collecting old ladies and guys with metal detectors:

And blatantly taking stuff from their fellow beachgoers without asking:

Y&T GUY:  Hey, lady, can I borrow your fancy binocs?

RANDOM TOURIST:  Um...I'd actually rather you di...

Y&T GUY: K, thanks! Bye!

CARMEN MIRANDA CLONE:  Excuse me, sir! Do you mind?

Y&T GUY:  Hell yeah I mind! I wanted Royal Rainier cherries. These are just plain old Rainiers. Gross!

No, Mr. Carnie, don't invite one of those guys to try his luck at your Bozo Baseball stand!

He'll cheat. In the most sociopathic way available to him.*

I think it's pretty clear at this point that the problem isn't the girls on the beach being shallow and rude. The problem is the fact that the Y&T guys have earned themselves such a solid reputation for being huge, brazen douchebags that no one wants to hang out with them. So I was quite surprised when the same women who blew these guys off at the beginning of the video come back to them at the end, looking very friendly:

...until I realized that these ladies have likely hatched a plan to lull the guys into a false sense of security before pushing them off the pier as punishment for ruining everyone's nice day at the beach.

Petty Side Note: Hey, lead singer guy, I don't like to single you out, but your outfit was bugging me the whole damn time I watched this video:

I know, I know. You're at the beach on a hot day. You're supposed to look kinda dorky for the purposes of the story. You're in the 80's, and everyone else who lives there (then?) is varying degrees of style-impaired too. You've got a whole host of excuses for not dressing your best. But that ensemble is a big honking fashion DON'T. Those two items just do not go together. You could make that sixpack-bearing top work, but only if you wore it with skin-tight, colorful spandex pants, leather boots, and lots of makeup and hair product like a good little pinup boy. Whereas you should be wearing those shorts You shouldn't be wearing those shorts. Ever. Promise me you won't, okay? If you do, you can swipe binoculars and cherries from me all you want and I won't even get mad.  

*Actually, in this case I'm assigning partial blame to whoever owns/runs this little beach-side carnival. Seriously, who leaves a loaded bazooka lying on the ground in a place where little kids and rock stars with bad people skills might be running around?

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